The Tochachah (May Offend Some)

A number of years ago (September 2005) when I was still in Bais Medrash in Miami, there was a hurricane warning over Shabbos. It turned out to be nothing, but we weren't allowed to go outside from Friday afternoon until Sunday morning. On motzei Shabbos we were getting a little antsy, so a friend of mine and I decided to write a song about the Parsha. That week we lained the tochachah. In honor of laining the tochachah this past Shabbos, I decided to actually make the song public. (While this song may offend some, we felt it was more productive then prank calling the radio stations to hear your voice on the radio.)

TTTO: The Middos Song from The Marvelous Middos Machine by Abie Rotenburg.
(The original song can be listened to or downloaded here.)


You'll get boils on your knees
The worms will eat your trees
You'll bar-b-que your children; you'll use their flesh as meat
The rain it will not come
You'll chew your only son
A Jew that messes with Hashem simply will be beat

The tochachah warns you what you get when you are bad
Hashem tells us just what he will do
So if you want to do what's wrong and really have some fun
You'll have to take the consequences too

Your eyes they will go blind
You'll lose your peace of mind
Your carcass will be food for every bird beneath the sky
Your flesh will wear away
You'll be frightened night and day
A Jew that messes with Hashem simply will be fried

The tochachah warns you what you get when you are bad
Hashem tells us just what he will do
So if you want to do what's wrong and really have some fun
You'll have to take the consequences too




UPDATE: Apparently I'm embarrassing my wife. Sorry dear!